Tufted Deer


The most punk rock member of the Cervidea family is the Tufted Deer. Their politics are subversive, their attitude slightly hostile and fast-paced. They have a large tuft of black hair on their forehead, which is effortlessly unconcerned. They live in China and stuff, rejecting mainstream. They even rebel against norms of height, being smaller than a regular American White Tail deer.

What makes them most distinctive are their fangs. Oi! I said fangs.

Yes. Also known as the “Vampire Deer,” males have protruding canines used during fights (their antlers are small, and it’s difficult to locate brass knuckles for hooves). They are also known to confuse predators by flapping their tails up and down when running away. Predators are like, “What the what is happening?!” giving the deer time to get out of there, get home, and listen to The Clash.

Near Threatened